Someday I will succeed.
It's just a matter of when and how.
I think that's the biggest problem my generation is facing. The desire to succeed. But what is success?
In an altered economy, success can no longer be measured by a high paying sustainable job. Why? Because it's no longer to scale.
Remember when you were younger and had that difficult class with an impossible teacher? We all had at least one of those, and we all dreaded major exams. Of course, there was always that one kid that ruined the curve for everyone else. Sometimes that kid got a C, other times an A. But if that kid got a C, we all failed miserably. That is today's economy.
And maybe your loved ones, your parents, your boyfriends and girlfriends looked at you and said, "This is not your fault! You studied, you worked hard, and you got through that test. If anything you didn't fail the system, the system failed you."
I have yet to meet a single person who has not felt this on some level. Even that one kid who always happened to ruin the curve.
What does that mean for success? Well, even in the worst economy-turned slightly upward, there will always be the kid that ruins the curve. Those are the exceptions that have made it themselves or where people have made it for them. I have two AMAZING friends in particular and I look at them and smile proudly because not only are they the exception, but they are my standard of measurement. I look up to them and they deserve everything they have and have worked hard to get there. Exceptionally hard.
But in order for the majority of us not to fail, we have to rethink our success. So no, some of us don't have full time jobs. Some of us have full time jobs but can't afford to pay for both groceries and utilities. Some of us have had to move back home.
Yet in spite of all of its failures, we have not failed in this system. The system has failed us.
I no longer measure success by the money I make or the jobs I have. I measure success by the cuddles I get from my dogs, the smiles and support I receive from my family, and the moments of easement and contentment due to the knowledge that even if I'm not independent, I'm surrounded by people I love.
I was hoping to be the exception. I was hoping to be the kid that ruined the curve. But maybe I haven't failed.
Why am I okay living with my parents? Because someday I will succeed as I do everyday.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Monday, February 25, 2013
Why I'm Okay Living With My Parents Part 2
When you're a writer, you're very observant.
As you watch the trees sway, you see words in your mind describing it's leaves and it's bowing to a soft breeze. The streetlights become allegories to the constant alteration of life in the big city. And if you ever pass by your old high school, as a writer you probably feel sensational emotion bubbling up, begging to be poured onto paper with nostalgic entreaties.
All of that is beautiful because you're a writer. And artists and musicians see images and hear music in their minds. It's a beautiful thing, creativity, but in a slow economy, it's also our downfall.
Last blog post I mentioned three musicians who still lived at home. I forgot to mention the half a dozen writers I know who have lived or are moving back home. Why? Because even though creativity, imagination, and the seers of beauty (and alternatively terror) are very much needed in society, no one realizes how much they are needed.
In fact, they are often forgotten.
Who needs an English major who has spent their time editing and writing? Certainly not the marketing teams who misspell their ad campaign. Or the scientific journals who prefer facts and forget that words can be construed differently depending on biases and subjects.
Who needs a Music major who has spent their time learning the ins and outs of music. Certainly not the music industry. No, the music industry does help some people who understand the finer art of music, but mostly the music industry is an industry. It's a business. They need people who understand business, not people who understand that different keys create different sounds and moods. Not people who have necessarily played musical instruments their whole lives. Are there people in the music industry who understand these things? Yes, but that doesn't mean that's why they were hired.
And unless you're a graphic designer, forget the Art major. Do people make money at this? Of course! There are animators and there are painters and there are people who spend their days half on the computer, half on the tablet creating beautiful works. But art falls to the waste side as much as musicians and writers do.
And unless you want to work in retail or food and hospitality or even work as an administrative assistant, chances are you won't have the job of your dreams. And yes, it takes years for that to occur, but we're all waiting for the world to pick us up without throwing us away. Not just artists, musicians and writers, but everyone who is 20 something.
And even if we work toward our passions alongside the honorable yet underpaid jobs, we're still out of luck. Certainly there are places in the United States where the underpaid can still live with a couple of roommates and still have enough for food and going out to the occasional restaurant?
Why am I okay living with my parents? Because our society has abandoned its passions.
As you watch the trees sway, you see words in your mind describing it's leaves and it's bowing to a soft breeze. The streetlights become allegories to the constant alteration of life in the big city. And if you ever pass by your old high school, as a writer you probably feel sensational emotion bubbling up, begging to be poured onto paper with nostalgic entreaties.
All of that is beautiful because you're a writer. And artists and musicians see images and hear music in their minds. It's a beautiful thing, creativity, but in a slow economy, it's also our downfall.
Last blog post I mentioned three musicians who still lived at home. I forgot to mention the half a dozen writers I know who have lived or are moving back home. Why? Because even though creativity, imagination, and the seers of beauty (and alternatively terror) are very much needed in society, no one realizes how much they are needed.
In fact, they are often forgotten.
Who needs an English major who has spent their time editing and writing? Certainly not the marketing teams who misspell their ad campaign. Or the scientific journals who prefer facts and forget that words can be construed differently depending on biases and subjects.
Who needs a Music major who has spent their time learning the ins and outs of music. Certainly not the music industry. No, the music industry does help some people who understand the finer art of music, but mostly the music industry is an industry. It's a business. They need people who understand business, not people who understand that different keys create different sounds and moods. Not people who have necessarily played musical instruments their whole lives. Are there people in the music industry who understand these things? Yes, but that doesn't mean that's why they were hired.
And unless you're a graphic designer, forget the Art major. Do people make money at this? Of course! There are animators and there are painters and there are people who spend their days half on the computer, half on the tablet creating beautiful works. But art falls to the waste side as much as musicians and writers do.
And unless you want to work in retail or food and hospitality or even work as an administrative assistant, chances are you won't have the job of your dreams. And yes, it takes years for that to occur, but we're all waiting for the world to pick us up without throwing us away. Not just artists, musicians and writers, but everyone who is 20 something.
And even if we work toward our passions alongside the honorable yet underpaid jobs, we're still out of luck. Certainly there are places in the United States where the underpaid can still live with a couple of roommates and still have enough for food and going out to the occasional restaurant?
Why am I okay living with my parents? Because our society has abandoned its passions.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Why I'm Okay Living With My Parents Part 1
A few days ago, I stumbled across a peer at the Starbucks. I spent at least 7 years with this kid and he went to UCLA. And he's back in his hometown, our hometown. The art of deductive reasoning infers two plausible reasons for him being there. One, he took work home with him to visit his parents on president's day weekend (graduate work or "real world" work). Or two, he is stuck in this vicious cycle, the same one I've been in since I graduated from college.
My sister read somewhere that while our parents' generation only switched careers 3 times, the twenty-somethings today are swapping out 7, 8 even a dozen times before settling into a job. Because the economy has changed, that's why.
Looking back, I've wondered where everything went wrong. After all, I am intelligent, and so are a lot of people I know. So I decided to take a sample of friends and in my head, do a bit of math. These are samples determining which of these individuals have full time jobs.
3 musicians (1)
3 computer science people (2)
3 teachers (1)
3 English graduate students (0)
3 post grad school students (law school) (1)
3 individuals who graduated with BA's or BS's (English, Humanities, Bio) (2)
2 (other)
So we have 20 individuals. out of the 20, 7 have jobs. Now is this a fair assessment? The sample was taken from an age range of 23-30. I should really get my friend Scotty to tell me. He did alright in statistics.
Can 7 out of 20 in any sense of the word, be correct? That is slightly more than a third who actually have full time jobs. At least three of those people are not working in their field of choice AND one of them is doing retail, like I was two months ago.
Is this a fair sample? Mmm, probably not. It's a sample of 20 friends, all with higher education degrees, but as you can see, there is a bias toward non-science majors. I do have a few friends that are scientists, but most of them are getting their PhD s so I didn't want to include them. They are working for their degrees by student teaching and in a way, it's very different than my English graduate school buddies (the science friends I have obtained scholarships and go on digs or work in a lab and teach and have classes and...hmm, maybe I'm not being fair to English graduate majors here...)
Perhaps we should take the graduate students out. After all, some of the English graduate students are teaching classes, living off of student loans, etc.
7/15..
I almost forgot! of the new sample of 15 individuals, 6 of them are still living at home. There's an overlap of those with full time jobs or steady incomes (2/6) and those with no jobs or part time jobs (4/6). But you get the idea.
Okay, maybe I should include more people in this. Maybe I shouldn't. I will say one thing, I'm kind of appalled When you've been told you have something to offer the world your entire life, and you're shit out of luck, can't get a job to be trained and can't have training to get a job, there's something wrong here.
And I say all of this with the knowledge that I am a writer, that I chose a difficult profession in any economy, and that if I'm lucky, some day I'll be a published author.
Why am I okay living with my parents? Because I'm not alone.
My sister read somewhere that while our parents' generation only switched careers 3 times, the twenty-somethings today are swapping out 7, 8 even a dozen times before settling into a job. Because the economy has changed, that's why.
Looking back, I've wondered where everything went wrong. After all, I am intelligent, and so are a lot of people I know. So I decided to take a sample of friends and in my head, do a bit of math. These are samples determining which of these individuals have full time jobs.
3 musicians (1)
3 computer science people (2)
3 teachers (1)
3 English graduate students (0)
3 post grad school students (law school) (1)
3 individuals who graduated with BA's or BS's (English, Humanities, Bio) (2)
2 (other)
So we have 20 individuals. out of the 20, 7 have jobs. Now is this a fair assessment? The sample was taken from an age range of 23-30. I should really get my friend Scotty to tell me. He did alright in statistics.
Can 7 out of 20 in any sense of the word, be correct? That is slightly more than a third who actually have full time jobs. At least three of those people are not working in their field of choice AND one of them is doing retail, like I was two months ago.
Is this a fair sample? Mmm, probably not. It's a sample of 20 friends, all with higher education degrees, but as you can see, there is a bias toward non-science majors. I do have a few friends that are scientists, but most of them are getting their PhD s so I didn't want to include them. They are working for their degrees by student teaching and in a way, it's very different than my English graduate school buddies (the science friends I have obtained scholarships and go on digs or work in a lab and teach and have classes and...hmm, maybe I'm not being fair to English graduate majors here...)
Perhaps we should take the graduate students out. After all, some of the English graduate students are teaching classes, living off of student loans, etc.
7/15..
I almost forgot! of the new sample of 15 individuals, 6 of them are still living at home. There's an overlap of those with full time jobs or steady incomes (2/6) and those with no jobs or part time jobs (4/6). But you get the idea.
Okay, maybe I should include more people in this. Maybe I shouldn't. I will say one thing, I'm kind of appalled When you've been told you have something to offer the world your entire life, and you're shit out of luck, can't get a job to be trained and can't have training to get a job, there's something wrong here.
And I say all of this with the knowledge that I am a writer, that I chose a difficult profession in any economy, and that if I'm lucky, some day I'll be a published author.
Why am I okay living with my parents? Because I'm not alone.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
New Year, New Blog
Happy New Year!
I'm not entirely sure what to make of this year. I'm sure now more than I ever have been previously that I want to be a successful renowned novelist and that's ALL I want. Maybe that's weird for some people, or strange or off color because so many people around me are getting "real jobs" but the reality is I've known the whole time.
Last year more than any other year, I tried entertainment and I tried marketing and I HATED BOTH. I mean yeah, I had bad experiences, but even still I didn't like it, it wasn't me.
And this is when I give you my New Years Resolutions. And here's the thing, I wasn't sure if I was going to share this with ANYONE. At least, not yet. Because I'm sick of feeling like I have to measure up to anyone. So that definitely made the list ;)
So here it goes:
1. Stop comparing myself to everyone. I try my hardest not to judge anyone and I do anyway but Why can't I stop judging myself for once?
2. Read a book a week. It doesn't have to be a book book. It can be a fan fiction, and if I don't like it I can change my mind. But it's time I take this seriously. If I'm going to be a novelist, I have to be well read. And yeah, I actually read a lot last year, but still.
3. Make more than $10,000 a year. Now THIS may be hard, but right now I have $2500 minimum saved up. I have some time to find the right place for me. And I do need something along with the writing.
4. Never stop writing. I have to write in at least some capacity. And yeah sometimes I don't feel like it, but still. I can't stop.
5. Finish the novel and get it on its way to be published. In any way possible!!
6. Make new friends (I may regret this one and delete it inevitably)
7. Learn a new skill like a program or art or a language. Anything to keep the brain intact
8. Watch the movies I've wanted to watch and haven't had time for.
9. Relax for one day a week without worries. Minimum 12 hours of that day, and only 3 hours include sleep. I gotta learn to relax.
10. Start writing new stories and poetry. Enter a couple of more contests, at least 4 this year.
11. Do the things that make me happy, follow my instinct and avoid the things that don't.
12. Make time for those I love, no matter where I am.
13. Meditate
14. Fall in love, with anything and anyone. Find new passions.
15. Be happy.
I think that's enough for now. We'll see how things go.
So far, I'm well on my way to fulfilling some of this. I started a new blog that is all about geeky fandom which makes me REALLY happy. And even after a week, I like it a lot still. Maybe even love it.
This is one of many things that makes me happy. Now if I can get published and pick up a book, I think I'll be all set.
Here's to a new year. Hope everyone is having as awesome of a year as possible!
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Wishing Something Universal In The Lizzie Bennet Diaries and A Happy New Year
Many of you may be wondering about the sparse posts these days. Well, aside from the fact I do take minor breaks from all of the Internet nonsense, I have been planning.
Plotting, really.
You see, I think there are at least two kinds of people in this world. There are the people, often times you can find them on reality television or stuck in their parent's basement. These are the people that are indeed adults, possibly in almost every sense of the word, with one exception. These are the adults who choose to act like children.
Examples? Caroline Lee, for one. And EVERY SINGLE reality television star, no exceptions.
And on rare occasion you find another individual at the least willing to admit to this. You will find someone who feels that they are a mere child in an adult world, attempting to go with the ebb and flow of adulthood and for all intents and purposes, trying their best to become a model adult citizen. Perhaps they've had their head in the clouds since birth, fancied the ideals of aged literature or general geekery. Maybe they're completely normal in every sense of the word, but for some reason still feel small, insignificant to the extent where they resort to perusing the Internet in the hopes of finding their life's calling. To those people, going to a new place can be scary but without the leap, what else can life offer?
I'm talking about you, Lizzie Bennet.
Fortunately and unfortunately for me, I am the latter.
That is why I have come to the conclusion that if I am ever to survive, now is the time. And instead of waiting the four more days or so to watch 2012 end, I decided to move now.
Not in four days, not when I'm ready (or feel ready). Now.
Because if I don't do it now, I never will.
The weirdest thing about this move is the occurrence between The Lizzie Bennet Diaries and me. The same age, some of the same interests, and just as Lizzie Bennet makes her announcement to venture out into the world, I manage to make it to a new city. She was scared, and I can't blame her.
But it's time. Screw the bad economy and lack of jobs everywhere. It's now or never. So I'm ready, ready as I'll ever be.
And may all of the Lizzie Bennets and parallel universe characters have their share of life and happiness. You inspire us all.
Best of luck, Ms. Elizabeth Bennet.
Plotting, really.
You see, I think there are at least two kinds of people in this world. There are the people, often times you can find them on reality television or stuck in their parent's basement. These are the people that are indeed adults, possibly in almost every sense of the word, with one exception. These are the adults who choose to act like children.
Examples? Caroline Lee, for one. And EVERY SINGLE reality television star, no exceptions.
And on rare occasion you find another individual at the least willing to admit to this. You will find someone who feels that they are a mere child in an adult world, attempting to go with the ebb and flow of adulthood and for all intents and purposes, trying their best to become a model adult citizen. Perhaps they've had their head in the clouds since birth, fancied the ideals of aged literature or general geekery. Maybe they're completely normal in every sense of the word, but for some reason still feel small, insignificant to the extent where they resort to perusing the Internet in the hopes of finding their life's calling. To those people, going to a new place can be scary but without the leap, what else can life offer?
I'm talking about you, Lizzie Bennet.
Fortunately and unfortunately for me, I am the latter.
That is why I have come to the conclusion that if I am ever to survive, now is the time. And instead of waiting the four more days or so to watch 2012 end, I decided to move now.
Not in four days, not when I'm ready (or feel ready). Now.
Because if I don't do it now, I never will.
The weirdest thing about this move is the occurrence between The Lizzie Bennet Diaries and me. The same age, some of the same interests, and just as Lizzie Bennet makes her announcement to venture out into the world, I manage to make it to a new city. She was scared, and I can't blame her.
But it's time. Screw the bad economy and lack of jobs everywhere. It's now or never. So I'm ready, ready as I'll ever be.
And may all of the Lizzie Bennets and parallel universe characters have their share of life and happiness. You inspire us all.
Best of luck, Ms. Elizabeth Bennet.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
This Holiday Season, Buckle Up, Be Safe, Don't Drink and Drive
This season, if you believe in the Mayan Apocalypse, will end this Friday. Frankly, I'm not sure what to believe. I know I'll be pissed if the world ends before I get to see the UK, and I'll be a little sad that I never found a donut shop I could eat at. But that's life, it's unexpected.
This time of year, there are a few pieces of sage advice my dad tells me. Now, life may be unexpected, but for the girl who barely left home, who spent fifteen minutes getting used to the water in the pool, there is no doubt I take this to heart.
"Buckle up" "Be safe" "Drive Safe(ly)" "Don't drink and drive" "Don't get into the care with anyone who has been drinking!" and my favorite "This time of year, people just get a little bit..well, psychotic. Just be careful."
The thing is, all of this is true, especially the last one. I mean for the most part life, like driving, is common sense. But like anything in life, it's the unexpected. I would be more concerned about the mom juggling three kids in the backseat or the pedestrian on their phone stepping out of line. Basically, you don't have to drink to be stupid.
But that's the scary part. Everyone is crazy during December, and whether we like it or not, it permeates every facet of our life. And a season like this is a bit unusual with doomsday prophecies. Whether you believe in it or not, it DOES affect you. It's like Superstorm Sandy. You weren't on the East Coast, you say? Did you have family? Did you have friends? A sense of empathy based in natural human instinct?
We have all this on our minds at least a little bit, and suddenly, these things come to fruition. The unexpected occurs and the weird thing is, it may not even be a surprise to you because disaster is just as ingrained into our culture as the miracles of the holiday season. But perhaps taking preventative measures can curb that little inkling, that self-fulfilling prophecy that you know, you just know that mom with three kids is going to run a red light, or that bicyclist is going to get too close to your car.
Or maybe, if you're like me, that you're going to get sick. And the thing is, as long as you try to avoid the little and bigger disasters, you're not only helping yourself.
"Buckle up" "Be safe" "Drive Safe(ly)" "Don't drink and drive" "Don't get into the care with anyone who has been drinking!" and my favorite "This time of year, people just get a little bit..well, psychotic. Just be careful."
Just be careful, guys. No matter what time of year it is, life can bring the unexpected. Let's go for the good things.
Maybe this sounds a little preachy, but when you accidently back into your mom's car because you have places to go, when you see three near-collisions with rushed drivers, and when you hear at least one friend a year having one close call or another, you're bound to think along the same lines.
This time of year, there are a few pieces of sage advice my dad tells me. Now, life may be unexpected, but for the girl who barely left home, who spent fifteen minutes getting used to the water in the pool, there is no doubt I take this to heart.
"Buckle up" "Be safe" "Drive Safe(ly)" "Don't drink and drive" "Don't get into the care with anyone who has been drinking!" and my favorite "This time of year, people just get a little bit..well, psychotic. Just be careful."
The thing is, all of this is true, especially the last one. I mean for the most part life, like driving, is common sense. But like anything in life, it's the unexpected. I would be more concerned about the mom juggling three kids in the backseat or the pedestrian on their phone stepping out of line. Basically, you don't have to drink to be stupid.
But that's the scary part. Everyone is crazy during December, and whether we like it or not, it permeates every facet of our life. And a season like this is a bit unusual with doomsday prophecies. Whether you believe in it or not, it DOES affect you. It's like Superstorm Sandy. You weren't on the East Coast, you say? Did you have family? Did you have friends? A sense of empathy based in natural human instinct?
We have all this on our minds at least a little bit, and suddenly, these things come to fruition. The unexpected occurs and the weird thing is, it may not even be a surprise to you because disaster is just as ingrained into our culture as the miracles of the holiday season. But perhaps taking preventative measures can curb that little inkling, that self-fulfilling prophecy that you know, you just know that mom with three kids is going to run a red light, or that bicyclist is going to get too close to your car.
Or maybe, if you're like me, that you're going to get sick. And the thing is, as long as you try to avoid the little and bigger disasters, you're not only helping yourself.
"Buckle up" "Be safe" "Drive Safe(ly)" "Don't drink and drive" "Don't get into the care with anyone who has been drinking!" and my favorite "This time of year, people just get a little bit..well, psychotic. Just be careful."
Just be careful, guys. No matter what time of year it is, life can bring the unexpected. Let's go for the good things.
Maybe this sounds a little preachy, but when you accidently back into your mom's car because you have places to go, when you see three near-collisions with rushed drivers, and when you hear at least one friend a year having one close call or another, you're bound to think along the same lines.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Post NaNoWriMo Reality Moves
15 days post NaNoWriMo and I'm already missing it. If it hadn't been for that one crazy month, I would have never finished my most favorite story I've ever written. And I wouldn't have met awesome people with similar ambitions.
It's not like any of us necessarily want to be the next great American Novelist. We just want the opportunity to write. And some of us want to make a living at it.
But now that it's over, everything is a tad quiet. I picked up a holiday retail job until Christmas Day, and then I get to move. Well, perhaps by mid January I'll have picked a spot in a new town somewhere else.
The problem is job-seeking is a bit of an art, and it's one of my weak spots. My resume and my cover letter have helped with friendly intervention, but to find something I'd be decent at (other than retail) is certainly difficult. And I've only applied to 20 jobs. In spite of the extremely busy schedule I have with work and moving prep, I know people who have applied to 100+ jobs in the week it's taken me to get to 20 and they only heard back from a handful of those jobs.
I'm not complaining. I think this is more a test for me to make sure I can do my very best and get where I want to be. And yeah, I really want to be a renowned author who is not only successful, but can make a living at the written word. But this is about growing up and filling my time as best I can with the people I love, the job I can handle, and the writing I love.
Something I can strive for continuously and will always pursue.
Here's to the twenty-somethings struggling to find a job. May you find yourself exactly where you want to be!
It's not like any of us necessarily want to be the next great American Novelist. We just want the opportunity to write. And some of us want to make a living at it.
But now that it's over, everything is a tad quiet. I picked up a holiday retail job until Christmas Day, and then I get to move. Well, perhaps by mid January I'll have picked a spot in a new town somewhere else.
The problem is job-seeking is a bit of an art, and it's one of my weak spots. My resume and my cover letter have helped with friendly intervention, but to find something I'd be decent at (other than retail) is certainly difficult. And I've only applied to 20 jobs. In spite of the extremely busy schedule I have with work and moving prep, I know people who have applied to 100+ jobs in the week it's taken me to get to 20 and they only heard back from a handful of those jobs.
I'm not complaining. I think this is more a test for me to make sure I can do my very best and get where I want to be. And yeah, I really want to be a renowned author who is not only successful, but can make a living at the written word. But this is about growing up and filling my time as best I can with the people I love, the job I can handle, and the writing I love.
Something I can strive for continuously and will always pursue.
Here's to the twenty-somethings struggling to find a job. May you find yourself exactly where you want to be!
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